Toto. I'm not in Kansas anymore

Remember...Kansas is a state of mind.

Just in a slump over here, but one that I put myself in on purpose (trying to switch meds to attempt the whole "having a family thing").

I'm down to the lowest dose on my AD and almost off of the Neurontin (which has made it easier to get to sleep at night.) I've been getting to bed between 3 and 4 am, which is when I've felt sleepy. Soon, I will be tracking on New Zealand time. Sadly, I live in the midwestern US.

I feel very lucky in that the timing is working where I can phone it in, on the couch, in my pajamas. Maybe that isn't entirely good since that also means I:

a) struggle with the whole "showering thing". Makes me so tired. All of that dressing and undressing.

b) am not very useful around the house. But feel somewhat anxious about messiness.

c) feel no need to LEAVE the house. Or speak to anyone. That can't be good. But leaving makes me very anxious.

d) don't like to make decisions. For example, what to eat? I have no idea. Easier to skip it.

e) need a governess who kicks my butt around and tells me what to do and where to be.

I would also like to stop bursting into tears during commercials, or the news, or TV shows. Supernanny, Queer Eye and the TV movie version of 3 Men & a Baby all made me weep yesterday. A happy weeping. But, weeping? Wha?

On a good note, the dog has been very very happy to have me around. I sleep a lot and drop food accidentally because I feel clumsy and uncoordinated. She is thrilled.

Med withdrawal. I'm doing it for the dog.


At 7:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Geez...that inappropriate TV weeping....It feels great at the time. On PMS days (or mild-dysthymic days) nothing feels better than going home, turning the ringer off on the phone, snuggling under the pink blanket, petting the cat, and crying over Air Force "We've been waiting for you" commercials.

Damn those are good.


At 3:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I totally relate to choices a-e above ... except I have to go to work, and pay for things and all that superflous stuff.

I just found your blog ... I'll read more later.


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