2.19.2005

More outtakes from a phone call with my sister

Sister: I think I'm in menopause.

Me: Menopause??!! What in the hell would make you think THAT?

Sister: Well, I haven't had my period in a year. And the last time I did, it was maybe a teaspoon.

Me: Oh my God. I pray for that. A teaspoon? Really? Mine is like a...um...like a...

Sister (trying to be helpful): A cup? Two cups? A bucket?

Me: A tsunami. It's like a tsunami.

Sister: Oh God. Now there's a Kotex commercial.

Me: Right. Instead of, "Kotex...for those not-so-fresh-days...", you would have "Kotex...for that tsunami in your pants..."

2.17.2005

New...for my Spamusement

I love this site. It is brilliant. Turning the message lines from SPAM into poorly drawn cartoons.

But wickedly funny cartoons.

For everyone's Spamusement.

This one was labeled...We have your medicine.

havemedicine

2.16.2005

Sick humor for sick people...no, the other kind of sick

My sister and I both share chronic depression. We also share a horrible, dark sense of humor which allows us survive some pretty dark times. Cops call this "gallows humor"...the use of humor in the face of a grave or dire situation, used to cope with the situation emotionally. (Doctors, EMT's, other emergency people in the house...you know what I'm talking about.)

So, after a marathon phone call with her last Sunday, I was crying from laughter and felt a lot better about a somewhat crappy situation (i.e. going through med withdrawal).

What did we talk about for FOUR hours? Oh, we can always find things to talk about. Starting with the recent diagnosis of a friend...they found a lump in her breast. They went in and removed it, along with a few lymph nodes.

My sister: How did they find the lump?

Me: She was in for an operation on her hemorrhoids.

My sister: Hemorrhoids?? (Bursts into laughter) Okay, nothing funny about those...but what? How?

Me: I know! I had to ask her...Marissa? What were you IN for?! The tits and ass plan?! Or did they just have to, you know, go so FAR up THERE that they found the lump? What on earth?? No, thank you, that's what I say.

2.13.2005

Med Supplies

Running out of meds is very, very bad. The drugstore knows me as "the woman who allows our pharmacist to vacation in Maui". It's sad when you belly up to the counter and they brighten up with a cheery, "Hey Eeyorena! The usual?"

It's like "Cheers". With drugs.

More sad is when you have had such a stash throughout your lifetime that you find Neurontin in the bottom of your purse like other people find spare change.